Book Review — W. Clay Smith Blog

Title: Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone.

Author: Brene’ Brown. Connections: University of Houston; Conference Speaker, Author of Daring Greatly.

Summation: We all long to belong.

Big Ideas: The world is in spiritual crisis of dis-connection. How to solve it: People are hard to hate close up, so move closer. Speak truth to bullshit but be civil about it. Hold hands with strangers. Strong back, soft front, wild heart.

Value: Inspiration

Takeaways:

· P. 5 – Take us with you into that story.

· P. 5 – Maya Angelou – “You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

· P. 15 – “Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories – stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging.”

· P. 25 – “I can confidently say that stories of pain and courage almost always include two things: praying and cussing. Sometimes at the exact same time.” WCS: preachers always need to remember this teaching on prayer. It mirrors the Psalms and Job.

· P. 33 – People want to be part of something – to experience real connection with others, but not at the cost of their authenticity, freedom or power. WCS: Do we think about groups in church this way? Why not?

· P. 37 – “True belonging is not passive.” WCS: Words for relationship with Jesus and group life.

· P. 38 - To brave the wilderness and stand alone in yourself requires:

o Boundaries

o Reliability

o Accountability

o Vault – a place to keep confidences

o Integrity

o Non-judgment

o Generosity.

· P. 40 – “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

· P. 40 – True belonging is the paradox of being with and being alone.

· P. 51 – The more we segment and sort ourselves into groups we identify with, the great our loneliness.

· P. 56 – “Terrorism is time released fear.”

· P. 59 – “Ideological bunkers protect us from everything except loneliness and disconnection.”

· P. 68 – “Anger is a powerful catalyst but a life-sucking companion.”

· P. 73 – “Successful dehumanizing … creates moral exclusion… Dehumanizing always starts with language, often followed by images.” WCS: I’ve seen this in more theological debates than I care to admit.

· P. 80 – “What is the conversation about and what is it really about?”

· P. 83 – One of the most courageous things to say in an uncomfortable conversation is “Tell me more.”

· P. 92-93 – A false dichotomy: If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy. WCS: That’s why Jesus said, “Love your enemies.”

· P. 107 – “If leaders really want people to show up, speak out, take chances and innovate, we have to create cultures where people feel safe – where their belonging is not threatened by speaking out and they are supported when they make the decision to brave the wilderness, stand along, and speak truth to bullshit.” WCS: Does your leadership team feel safe to speak truth?

· P. 121 – I’ve taught my kids that attending funerals is critically important and when you’re there, you show up. You take part. Every song. Every prayer.

· P. 122- In the age of YouTube, being there in person is so much more powerful. WCS: Why church attendance matters!

· P. 135 – “The connection that we forge by judging and mocking others is not real connection… But the pain it causes is real pain.”

· P. 136 – “Common enemy intimacy is counterfeit connection and the opposite of true belonging.”

· P. 138 – “A woman in her mid-forties explained: ‘I can go to church and have the most amazing experience of spiritual connection. I feel part of something that transcends difference. I can also go to church and leave feeling enraged after my priest uses the homily for a platform to talk about politics and endorse candidates. Those experiences are becoming more and more common. At some point it won’t be worth going back.” WCS: PREACHERS, HAVE EARS AND LISTEN!

· P. 144 – “It takes courage to open ourselves up to joy.”

· P. 145 – “I can’t find a single example of courage that didn’t require vulnerability.”

· P. 156 – “The key to joy is practicing gratitude.”

Buy? Yes, if you're comfortable with ruthless, cussing, Texas honesty.

Title: Kill the Spider

Author: Carlos Whittaker. Connections: North Point Ministries, Catalyst, CarlosWhittaker.com

Summation: Carlos tells his story of overcoming addiction to success, significance and porn during an experiential therapy retreat.

Big Idea: We all have spiders (issues or addictions) that want to spin cobwebs to control our lives. Don’t spend your life cleaning out cobwebs; kill the spider.

Value: Inspiration

Takeaways:

· P. 13 – No one does anything about spiders until they come out of hiding.

· P. 20 – “I just know that I’ve gone my entire life receiving blessing after blessing and then rubbing crap on it.”

· P. 22 – Don’t be a professional at cleaning the cobwebs from your life. Find the producer of cobwebs and kill the spider.

· P. 41 – From his wife Heather: “You are not there to fix them. You are there to fix you.”

· P. 49 – Spiders don’t start big. The longer we ignore them, the longer we allow them to feed on our mistakes and fears and spin their cobwebs of sin, the harder it is to kill them.

· P. 51 – “A spider is an agreement with a lie you believe. A cobweb is any medicator that brings false comfort to that lie.”

· P. 60 – “We are going to have to dig back to the point of trauma or to the point of pain and stare it in the eyes.”

· P. 81 – “Maybe I always just assumed Jesus was real. I never really found out for myself.”

· P. 93 – “The spider, the lie was identified as: ‘I must do to be loved.’”

· P. 123 – “If I believe in the God of the impossible, then why do I not believe in the God of the possible?”

Buy? Yes.