Showing Up…

My Aunt Ida passed away last week.  My cousins, Jeff and Todd, asked me to conduct her service, and so I went to Okeechobee to gather with family, to remember her life and legacy. 

When you gather like this, there is usually a time when the family gathers apart from the funeral service.  To me, this is when the real celebration of life occurs.  My Uncle Bud flew in from Colorado.  At eighty-eight, he still competes in senior calf roping events.  He told stories about the old days that I soaked up.  I had a good visit with the wife of one of my cousins and found real compassion for mentally ill people.   

One of my cousins is in the hospital; I got to drop by and see her.  Spending time with my sister-in-law is always enjoyable. 

Showing up is important.  We are all busy, but we need to shove schedules aside, make the trips, and communicate with our presence that we care.  Showing up is the ultimate way to say, “I see you.  I want to connect with you.  I care.”   

I feel sometimes this is slipping away from our culture.  We are more glued to our screens than we are connecting to people’s faces.  Because we are overcommitted to our schedules, we don’t have room to stop what we’re doing and show up. 

You might be thinking, “But you are a pastor, and you set your own schedule.  Naturally, you can rearrange things.”  That’s true, and it is a privilege.  Maybe you can’t show up because of work.  But you can reach out.  You can encourage people with notes.  A handwritten note is more powerful than a text. 

Isn’t this what Jesus did for us?  He showed up.  He reached out.  I suppose God could have done his salvation work remotely; after all, he is God and can do things any way he wants.  But he came in person.  He experienced life in a human body.  He did not come as Superman, but as someone who hurt when the nails were driven in his hands. 

In his ministry, Jesus showed up when Jarius said, “My daughter is sick.  Please come and heal her.”  Jesus showed up when he faced the Gadarene demoniac and cast the legion of demons.  Jesus showed up when he healed a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath.  Ever wondered why Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus?  He opened his emotions to what Mary was feeling.  He showed up. 

If Jesus showed up, his followers should show up.  Isn’t that the point of the parable of the sheep and the goats?  His true followers show up to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, visit the prisons, care for the sick, and welcome the foreigners.  Jesus followers, the church, need to show up and be with people. 

One of my heroes, Will Campbell, told about the night he sat up with his dead nephew’s body at the funeral home.  That was an old custom, rarely done now.  It is called sitting with the dead.  His sister had asked, and he said “yes.” 

Will was an early advocate for Civil Rights in Mississippi, not a popular position.  His work with black leaders had caused several of his family members to disown him.  One uncle, in particular, was severely harsh. 

About eleven o’clock in the evening, while Will was sitting in a pew of the funeral home chapel, he became aware that someone else was in the room.  As he turned to look, he caught the outline of his racist uncle sitting on the back pew.  “Mind if I join you?” he asked. 

Will said, “Yes,” and his uncle moved from the back pew to the front pew.  He poured a cup of coffee from a thermos he had brought.  As Will blew on the cup to cool the coffee, his uncle said, “Sure has been hot.”  That’s what men do when they want to connect.  They start with the weather. 

As the night passed, there was passing conversation, awkward at times, followed by long stretches of silence.  As dawn’s light began to stream through the windows, Will thought to himself, “I have been comforted by a racist angel through the night.” 

There was a lot wrong with Will’s uncle.  Racism and hatred have no place.  But on that night, he did something very right.  He showed up.